August 28, 2012

This morning I got to the Waltham Public Library and asked for a temporary library card, one of which I used the last time that I was here and about which I was asked no questions the last time that I was here.

This time, I was asked a bunch of questions and told “They’re only for people from out of state.”

I was unfortunately automatically signed into a computer that was on the other side of a desk from the same homeless woman who’s staying at the shelter I am whose picture I put online the other day and identified as someone who is abusive to me.

While I was getting ready to log into the computer, I heard a male cough behind me.  An older man, white, at least in his late 50’s, and wearing a shirt that said “13” on it, had walked into the room and coughed at me.

Without thinking about it, I said “Leave me alone or I’ll take your picture, put it on the Internet and expose you for the perv.  that you are.”

Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say; however:

–I am homeless because I have been protesting things like child molestation for a couple of years.

–I have been stalked by vehicles all morning.

–I have now, while writing this essay, looked for a minute at Zac Efron’s first page of Yahoo search results and one of his blogs.  He’s still promoting child molestation, he’s still being personally abusive to me, and I’m sure that if I had looked at anything that he was doing for more than a minute in total, I would see more of the HORRIBLE things that he’s doing and has been doing for a long time.  What I said to the guy who coughed at me this morning might not have been tactful, but it was true; I don’t know who could be tactful all the time, going through what I’m going through.

The abusive woman said “Jesus, Lena, all he did was cough.”  He stood there, trying to argue with me about how he hadn’t done anything.  I told him to leave me alone.  The same white, young, female librarian who had asked me a lot of questions about the temporary library card walked over and said “Is there a problem?”  I said “No, I’ve dealt with it; as long as he leaves me alone, there’s no problem.”

Then the abusive homeless woman started to talk about me, and I said “Why don’t you leave me alone?  I was given this computer; I’d certainly rather have gotten a computer on the other side of the room.”  Now, several minutes later, I realize that I could have signed into any computer and didn’t need to use the one that assigns people to them, because there was nobody waiting for one; I haven’t been to this library that much and didn’t realize that.

The librarian said to me “Why don’t you log out and just sign into one of the computers on the other side of the room?”  I said “OK.” She said “If there’s a problem we like to have people ask us to deal with it rather than confronting people themselves.”

What are the chances that if I asked her for help with someone who was abusing me here, she would lie to me and say that the person wasn’t doing anything to me and that I was the problem?  There hasn’t been a time that I’ve been here that I haven’t been getting abused by someone, including some of the library staff.  Look at what happened at the Boston Public Library.

While I was writing some of this essay, another woman from the homeless shelter where I’ve been staying did some coughing.  She’s someone who has also walked around the shelter at times wearing a t-shirt that says “Born To Be Wild” on it.

I would have taken the other people out of the picture, but I can’t edit anything out of the photo from this computer.

She’s in the yellow shirt:

Copyright L. Kochman, August 28, 2012 @ 9:35 a.m./edited @ 9:42 a.m.  She’s still coughing.  @ 9:43 a.m.