September 4, 2012

The shelter where I’m staying is much quieter and a more normal living situation than the other shelters where I’ve stayed over the past year and a half.  There are still some problems of harassment.  Overall, my experience of the harassment over the past couple of years with everyone who has done it is that with people who are more reasonable and perceptive and who interact with me frequently enough that they can discard some of their preconceived notions about me, the problems tend to get better.  With people who are more immature and dysfunctional, the problems seem to stay the same or get worse until those people are confronted in a way that makes them stop even though they don’t want to.

There are two women in my room who persist in being unpleasant.  One is an African American woman who is perhaps in her mid-twenties.  Although she’s been there for about a week, I have yet to hear her speak more than a couple of sentences.  Once, I saw her wearing a t-shirt that said “MEET ME IN MY DREAMS.”

Having been stalked whenever I leave a building for more than a year does not perpetually leave me able to address things in an entirely constructive and mutually respectful way when someone is harassing me at a time when I need sleep.  The other night, I finally responded to her fake coughing/sneezing harassment of me by saying “I’ve never been anything but nice to you.  I’ve seen you in your t-shirt that says “MEET ME IN MY DREAMS.  You’re a f—ing child molester.  I haven’t said anything about it yet but I will if you don’t f—ing leave me alone.”

She left me alone for a couple of days, and this morning she started again, with nose-rubbing and coughing at me.

The other woman is probably in her early 50’s.  She coughs at me.  She is also someone who seems somewhat dysfunctional in a pre-conglomerate way; I don’t even know how long it takes her to go to bed at night once she’s in the room.  I feel like it’s an hour or more that she’s walking from her bed to the door and opening the door, or going to the closet, or sitting on her bed and either harassing me or muttering and sighing.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand not wanting to talk to people and being distracted by things that are upsetting you and not being able to sleep at night.  I even understand the muttering and sighing; I get all that.  However, THERE’S NO REASON THAT ANYONE NEEDS TO BE HARASSING ME OR MOLESTING CHILDREN OR SHOWING SUPPORT FOR THOSE THINGS.

I only saw the woman in her “MEET ME IN MY DREAMS” shirt the one time.  What I said to her the other night put two of the things that I didn’t like about her together at once, in a moment when she was making me angry.  I guess that sometimes I also do write about what seems to me to be a motivation that some people have for being abusive to me.

Copyright L. Kochman, September 4, 2012 @ 4:37 p.m./edited @ 4:38 p.m./addition @ 4:44 p.m.