September 14, 2012

I think that one of the reasons that child molestation is bad is that the younger a person is, the more that he or she will take on the emotions of the people around him or her and feel them as if they were his or her own emotions.  If there are some parents or other adults who have been molesting children and think that they’re not doing something bad because they don’t think that they are getting a negative reaction from the children, what they may not realize is that the emotions that they themselves have about what they’re doing, or the emotions that the children think that the adults want them, the children, to have, are the emotions that the children whom those adults are abusing are showing to those adults. The younger the child is and the more important the relationship with the abusive adult was to the child before the abuse started, the more that the child will be unable to distinguish what his or her emotions about what’s going on should be from the emotions that he or she is being taught to have, by the abusive adult, about what’s happening, even in the absence of threats or expressed disapproval from the adult if the child does show what the adult thinks is a negative reaction.  A healthy, and therefore positive reaction, for a child to have about being molested is to feel violated and betrayed, and to want it to stop.  In abusive situations, including those in which the victims are adults rather than children, the abusers usually treat that type of healthy and therefore positive reaction as if it were a negative reaction, and express disapproval, make threats, and give out punishment.

Even if an adult doesn’t respond that way to a child whom the adult is abusing, withdrawal of appropriate affection by the adult, or even the child’s fear that the adult will be unhappy, can keep the child from ever expressing or even feeling any emotion that he or she thinks the adult doesn’t want him or her to have about what’s going on.

This essay is based on ideas from years of pre-conglomerate and time-tested psychology that can be researched through various terms and terminology, although much of what shows up from initial searches on the Internet has been corrupted with conglomerate-supportive ads and conglomerate-supportive indexing by the search engines.

Here are some of the terms of which I did searches while I was writing this essay:

–psychological differentiation (Has nothing to do with “Making A Difference.”).

–enmeshment

–codependency

–family systems theory

One thing, too, to keep in mind while reading about psychology is that it, like most things, still wasn’t treating women as equal to or as good as men even before the conglomerate happened.

Copyright L. Kochman, September 14, 2012 @ 2:42 p.m.