September 14, 2012

The younger someone is and the less life experience he or she has, the more likely the person is to take on the emotions that other people are having, without realizing that that’s what’s happening.  It is a cognitively advanced skill to keep “self” separate from “other,” “other” being everything outside the self, to observe other people’s feelings without being either overwhelmed by them or indifferent to them, to make accurate or at least plausible appraisals of why other people might be feeling what they’re feeling, to determine what your own feelings are and to make decisions about what’s best for you.

That is another reason why it would be inappropriate for someone my age, 38, to date someone who is half my age or younger; technically, someone may be an adult, but that doesn’t mean that the person has the previously described and other cognitive skills or can develop them quickly enough for it to be an equal relationship.  That’s in addition to all of the other life experience that someone my age has that someone who is much younger than that doesn’t have, and the extremely unfair advantage that would give the older person over the younger one.

 

Copyright L. Kochman, September 14, 2012 @ 2:50 p.m.