September 21, 2012

I want to write about what happened at the end of the day yesterday.

When I did the search of the name “Joaquin Phoenix,” and then saw that I had done the search at the time “4:49 p.m.,” I had a moment of anxiety, since the code meaning for that number has gotten more and more problematic and dangerous for me.  However, I had a much more serious moment of anxiety when I did the next celebrity search and saw that I’d done it at “4:58 p.m..”

I had kept the first search and then saved it as a draft so that I could publish however many pages of search results for the people who are part of the movie “The Master” as I was going to be able to get done one after another.  Not only was I running out of time if I were going to get the bus to be back in Waltham for the curfew at the shelter, the page of results for the first search had the numbers that I was looking for, to prove what I had thought I’d probably be saying about that celebrity.  Numbers like those often change within a minute if the person is aware that I’ve done a search on his or her name and I do the search again.

Doing what I did yesterday about that movie takes some planning, and it also is something that I have to be careful about when I’m publishing pages, to make sure that I’m putting things in understandable order.  It was by chance that the next search that I did was at 4:58 p.m., and the page of results for that first search also had numbers that supported what I thought I would probably be saying about Amy Adams.

Although last night was the first time that I remember having to publish two pages in a row that had searches that were done at times that each had the same celebrity code significance, last night was not the first time that I’ve known that I had to leave things the way that they were, without more discussion, and that there would be problems from the conglomerate as a result, problems that would affect my life that night and the next day, and that would continue until I was able to successfully defend myself, if I were able to defend myself at all until the next time that it happened.  How many letters and numbers did I type in total yesterday, and how much weight did the ACTUAL meaning of all of them get versus the weight that was incorrectly ascribed to the numbers in those two search times?

Can everyone understand why there have been nights when I’ve been willing to risk being a few minutes late for a shelter curfew, even when I’ve been warned not to be late, so that I could try to do something to offset what I thought the conglomerate’s reaction would probably be to something that I had published?

I wrote my code policies and other pages about situations like the times at which I did those searches last night so that I wouldn’t be constantly having problems like the ones that I’m still having even with the policies and pages.


Copyright L. Kochman, September 21, 2012 @ 2:54 p.m.