October 1, 2012

The videos that have already been made of me are never going to go away.  I don’t think that I want to know how many people have seen them by now.  More people are seeing them all the time, I’m sure.  I will be affected by that situation for the rest of my life, and so will everyone who is ever part of my life in a significant way, if in fact I’m ever able to make any friends or have any normality to my life at all, considering that I can only even think about being friends with people whose lives can withstand what I go through all the time.  Who those people might be, I don’t know.

It seems as if one of the things that the people who promoted that issue were trying to tell themselves was that I really thought, knew, that the first video was being made and that I liked the fact that it was being made, wanted it to happen, and wanted more of them to be made.

First of all, I didn’t; I couldn’t imagine that people who had tried to justify everything that they’d already put me through by saying that I was sex-obsessed and untrustworthy could be hypocritical enough to do that.

Second of all; I haven’t been living in homeless shelters, and I wasn’t living with my parents before then, and I wasn’t living in low income housing before I was living with my parents, because living that way was what I wanted.  Why would I have wanted video to be made of me with hidden cameras, and everything unattractive about me that I’m sure was videotaped, when I could have made a lot of money by choosing to have videos made of me, in which I could have had some say at least about what I did in them, and which would probably have been edited before being sold?  Considering how famous I already was by 2010, I could have decided to do that and made money from it, and I would not have had to be homeless for all of the time that I have been homeless.

I would never do that.  I would never consent, implicitly or explicitly, to having video like that made of me.

It’s not as if there weren’t years of my life during which I would not have had to be famous first if I wanted to make money from selling naked pictures or video of myself; there isn’t one picture or video like that.  I have been poor my entire adult life.  There is not one naked picture or video of me that hasn’t been made because the conglomerate caused it to be made without my consent and against my will.

I have been vociferously protesting the video issue, and while I’ve been doing that, the promotion of it has continued and more videos have been made.  There is no validity to the idea that I ever wanted it to happen.  The people who have done this are no better than rapists, and, as I’ve said, I’m sure that unwanted and unconsented-to videos of a lot of other people have been made because of the example that’s been set by the conglomerate.  I’m sure that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of horror stories that only happened because of the video of me and what the conglomerate did about it.

If the conglomerate media isn’t reporting those horror stories, is that surprising?  First of all, for people to hear about other horror stories gives those specific stories more exposure.  Second of all; it seems to me that the conglomerate considers denial and suppression to be its best friends.  It does everything that it can to avoid the knowledge of how much it is hurting people, and to keep that knowledge from being generally recognized.


Copyright L. Kochman, October 1, 2012 @ 3:49 p.m.