October 29, 2012

The first page that I wrote today was my first reaction to having seen the sign that said that there is going to be a “Mini Fenway.”  After I published it, I looked up “Mini Fenway Park” and found the search results that I’ve published on the previous page.

It seems as if “Mini Fenway,” in a benevolent form, was being planned before the conglomerate happened.  It also seems as if there were environmental concerns that were preventing it; I skimmed the article that I found about it.

You can also see that the bad guys are all over it.  If the conglomerate’s endorsement of child molestation doesn’t stop, and if the place is built with that name, it seems likely to me that it will be a place where child molesters go. 

As far as my own ability to help anyone right now; most of my thoughts are preoccupied with the video problem.  Even if all of the cameras that have been put in places where people are supposed to have privacy, since the conglomerate started to encourage people to destroy their own and others’ privacy, are removed and I am not videotaped with hidden cameras any more, the videos that have already been made are already out there.  If I’m not going to kill myself over it, then I’m at the beginning of a lifelong crisis.

I will never have friends.  I will never be able to date.  I will never get married.  I will be constantly tormented by cruel and/or ignorant people. 

It is astonishing how much the conglomerate likes to hurt people.

There is nothing about the behavior of people who try to indicate “You look hot in the videos” that makes me feel better.  I’ve said before that those people are no better than rapists, and that’s true.

I have been deliberately and maliciously hurt in ways that are going to be there for the rest of my life.  I will be dealing with this problem FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, however long that turns out to be.

So will a lot of other people; all of the people who have been videotaped by spouses, supposed friends, neighbors, bosses, relatives, all of the people who are being blackmailed and tormented with those videos, all of the tragedies that are playing out because of this problem.  They will be dealing with the video problem for the rest of their lives, and so will their children and grandchildren and everyone whom they ever know.

As far as the auction goes; there’s a UPS thing out in front of the front entrance.  There’s a Wet Floor sign in the entrance before you get into the building.  There’s a Wet Floor sign in the women’s restroom.  I’ve been coughed at by more than one person already.  The guy who was supposed to be showing me what I was supposed to do here rubbed his nose at me; that was the first thing he did.  The auction hasn’t even started yet.

Someone just sneezed; I could hear it from the other side of this large room.

If this auction is like the others where I’ve worked, I’m going to be subjected to this behavior while I’m working, too; while I’m trying to understand what happens here, at an auction where I haven’t worked before, while I’m trying to follow the directions, while I’m trying to drive cars safely, while I’m trying to listen to what I’m being asked to do, while I’m doing nothing except trying to do the work which is the reason that I’m here.  There will be people making jokes about the videos, perhaps over the microphone for everyone in the building to hear.  There will be people making noises and gestures to try to imply “Your vagina smells.”  At other auctions, people have sought me out in the parking lot and in the building where I drive the cars so that they can do those things.  They walk up to the car that I’m driving and open the door, either before or after coughing or sneezing at me or rubbing their noses at me.  They act like they’re checking out the car, and their real purpose is to stalk and abuse me while I’m trying to work.

Who’s going to say that what’s happening isn’t gender discrimination and sexual harassment, and the inexcusable destruction of privacy and of human rights? 

There’s someone else coughing now; since I’ve written the previous paragraphs, I told someone to stop coughing, a guy sitting with that person rubbed his nose, and the person whom I’ve just mentioned started repeatedly coughing.

NOBODY could deserve this.  There is nobody in the world who could deserve this.

Copyright L. Kochman, October 29, 2012 @ 10:33 a.m./edited @ 10:38 a.m.